Things to do in an Elevator...

Things to do in an Elevator (Once you're done with the 20 ways to stay insane)

• Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
  
• Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
  
• Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
  
• Meow occasionally.
  
• Say - ‘DING’ at each floor.
  
• Say “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
  
• Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  
• Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
  
• Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
  
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
  
• When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
  
• Swat at flies that don’t exist
  
• Call a “Group hug” then enforce it.
  

Things to do at Wal-Mart (when you're done with the elevators)

• Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals
  
• Walk up to an employee and tell them in an official tone, ‘Code 3 in housewares,’ … and see what happens
  
• Go to the Customer Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-away.
  
• Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
  
• Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  
• When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?
  
• Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  
• While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  
• Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.
  
• Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'